How To Forgive Yourself

How To Forgive Yourself

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How to forgive yourself is a profound question. A friend once confessed the pain of not forgiving a mistake. He wanted to take his life- shocking, but this is how bad things can get. I looked at him, wondering if he understands what is happening to us as humans. Support is critical at times like this. It is crucial you get help and not allow yourself to dive deep into a rabbit hole. Seeking guidance and support will help you. It will shift your thoughts from beating yourself to learning from the event. Life is a journey. We must learn and move on; understanding how to do so makes all the difference.

The vice of feeling guilty and not forgiving yourself

If we blame ourselves for a past event, we get stuck in the past. It is like the sages said, live life on a clean slate daily. Turning back keeps you in the past. It is a game of losers, and you cannot afford such indulgence.
Feeling guilty about a past event keeps you stuck in negative emotion. The hard fact is this- it is dis-empowering and offers no learning point. The temptation to develop a habit of guilt is human nature. But, you have the power to stop it. Your ultimate goal must be to make peace with the past and move on.
Let’s explore why before looking at how to do this.

Why you should learn how to forgive yourself for growing

Our life purpose is to unlearn selfishness and master love for others. It is to become align with natures law of love. To become spiritually align, transforming our qualities into unconditional love. So, an act of unkindness to others, no matter the scale, is an opportunity to reflect on our behaviours. We must do so to make changes for the better. Guilt and self-unforgiveness do not offer any chance for self-improvement.
Your role is to master self-improvement and no more.

The wisdom of mistakes and the importance of letting go

All mistakes are messengers of how far we are from the state of love for others. Self-awareness is the start of the process. The fact that you recognise a wrong action and feel bad about it is a bonus. Many people make mistakes and justify them. You have identified the issue, and it is time to learn from it and move on. It is the first important self-realisation. I know it is not likely to appease you but trust me- you can now make a sea change.
You are already on route to achieving a new consciousness. The moment you detect your actions as wrong you can correct them.

Don’t fall for the ego trickery- forgive yourself

Our ego is always working against us. It is an opposing force that resists love and connection. It will always support you to be unkind to others. It will also punish you for being unkind to others by showing how imperfect you are. Be aware of what is happening in your mind. Your mistakes were nothing short of showing you attitude you should change. We are all on this journey of learning and unlearning.
It would help if you learned what the ego is. Our ego stands in the way of achieving our spiritual goal.

Here are my top secrets on how to forgive yourself

  • Decide to forgive yourself. Decide to let go and start afresh.
  • Decide to let go of the guilt and shame holding you in self-condemnation. You did what you thought was the best at the time. That was your level of consciousness. If you knew better, you would have done things . Everyone makes a mistake because we are here to master perfection.
  •  The feeling of guilt or shame is a positive sign that you are awakening to your soul’s purpose. Now turn the emotions into greater assets.
  •  Pray for forgiveness of your past mistakes and let go. Pray for healing of those you hurt. Prayer works.
  •  Learn from the issue and move on. You can create a better future with a good mindset that is higher than the past.
  •  Surround yourself with positive-minded circles. Remove yourself from hostile forces that enjoy dwelling on the past.


Spirituality teaches us to recognise the purpose of life is to master our ego. Whether we like it or not, we will make mistakes as we uncover our imperfection in the ego. Nature has designed the system to work that way. Working in the path of love, good connection and empathy for others is our way out. Love kicks us out of the trap of feeling lost, guilty and despair.
You are not alone. Let go, forgive yourself, learn from the mistake and become a better person. Even people we revere made mistakes. Think about this. Good luck.
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Author: Sara Ahavah