What Is Ego -How to detect the ego and rise above it — Dr Shelah Harris

What Is Ego -How to detect the ego and rise above it — Dr Shelah Harris

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What Is Ego -How to detect the ego and rise above it — Dr Shelah Harris


Who are you? Have you ever asked yourself this question? Who are these people around me besides the labels society has given them—colleagues, sisters, brothers, friends, cousins, aunts, neighbours, strangers, the list goes on?

You may not realise it, but you have created a sense of who you think you are. This starts in childhood, but over time, the words we hear, the thoughts we have, and the experiences we go through all shape this sense of identity.

Yes, everyone has a perception of their identity that they gravitate towards, as though without it, they won’t survive.

By the time we reach adulthood, we are living unconsciously in a program that controls our thoughts, thoughts, feelings, reactions, speech, actions, and our whole lives. This entity drives our general wellness, whether good or bad, yet we do not distinguish between ourselves and this force.  

We identify so strongly with this created sense of self, that we have forgotten who it is we truly are. When we embark on our spiritual journey, we will begin to know our true identity is consciousness that can make the distinction between the ego and our true identity.

Many people wonder, ‘What is the definition of ego?’ In this blog, we’ll examine this question and explore how to become more aware of the ego and break free from its limited thinking and beliefs.

What is your ego?

The ancient wisdom of Kabbalah teaches us that a person is created with two forces operating within- the good force that seeks to connect healthily with others and the bad force that seeks to disconnect with others, using them only for pleasure. The ego is our default entity until we start our spiritual awakening to the good force within, which is the divine soul. There are many schools of thought about this subject. Some teachings propose the ego is self-constructed, as if humans can construct themselves. There is a belief that we create the ego, which is the false self. No matter the version of teachings you embrace, the ego is the false identity that works against the principles of love, connection, and kindness toward others. The principles of love and connection are nature’s modus operandi, and when one works against them, chaos and disorder materialise.

How the ego shows up

To start off, let me admit candidly that we are all egoists, but some are more aware of it than others. We do not feel others’ needs, nor are we capable of knowing others deeply until we rise above the ego—by this, I mean until we restrict our ego mind and act purely on the desires of others for their betterment.

The ego is the driver of all discontent with others- it judges others harshly, discounts their importance and value and inflates itself as highly important and superior. It labels others as the villain and unworthy and diminishes their needs as important.    If you carefully review your life, you will begin to spot your ego. Whenever you speak or respond to life events, you are responding based on your feelings, not those of others. Your thoughts and feelings are aligned to support your actions, and nine times out of ten, they will be in your interest. Even your negative self-talk is your ego, as it is based on your feelings and thoughts.

How to free yourself of your ego

Your spiritual growth work is about freedom from the ego. But why must you be freed? Good question- you   cannot   live a life of harmony operating within the ego. Working in opposition to your ego is like stamping out that which causes discontent and disconnection from others. The natural byproduct of this is the love of others without any harsh judgements.

Many people want to know how to find freedom. Start by acknowledging the ego is not you. It is attached to you. To rediscover your authentic self, you must be willing to move past the thinking that places a hold on you and learn how to create more self-awareness. You must master love and kindness in thoughts, feelings and actions. These steps will help you to check in with yourself and move past egoic thinking:

Step 1: Observe your thoughts- are they loving and kind or opposite

Thoughts of kindness towards others are good, and the opposite is egocentric, which blocks growth and success. Nature knows the intention of all our thoughts and actions.

Step 2: Overcome feelings of superiority over others- it is prideful

The ego likes to separate us from other people when in reality, we are one. We do not need to feel superior to others. As a black woman, I have often wondered why others who do not look like me think they are superior. Even amongst the blacks are feelings of superiority over others. The harsh treatment against the so-called inferior is a classic example of the ego at work.

Step 3: Practice being present- let go of the past and future mind game

Being present allows us to receive insight and connect with our true selves. It is about not taking thoughts from the past or the future. The use of the mind to transport to the past and the future emphasises the ego at work.

Step 4: Let go of negative judgement of self and others

When you let go of judgment, you allow yourself the opportunity to focus on the goodness within yourself and others. Check out my 52 Weeks Mindfulness Therapy Journal to learn tools for training your mind.

Step 5: Practice gratitude

The powerful practice of gratitude helps us to start appreciating the little things. Gratitude helps the ego to stop comparing to others because whatever you are grateful for in the present moment is always enough.

Step 6: Pray for love and kindness to be installed in your heart

No one can shift from ego to love without the intervention of Nature. Ask for help and you will receive it. Psalms are wonderful tools and you will find special psalms for all different situation in the shop.

Step 7- Spiritual Healing

Spiritual healing is a powerful practice of healing the soul using spiritual practices. In my book Spiritual Healing for Women, I shared some of my personal challenges and how I used resources for healing. The ancient wisdom of Kabbalah teaches that rising above the ego through faith to connect with the Creator transforms the ego into a spiritual entity of unconditional love.

Get in touch to learn more about this. Everyone’s journey is different. If you want to find out more about this book in a  15-minute  consultation today, there is a limited slot available.

To learn more about  powerful tools to do so check our  resources from   our shop  CLICK HERE  Sarainnerhealing Women-Mindful-Journal-Book-Cover-JPEG-188x300 What Is Ego -How to detect the ego and rise above it — Dr Shelah Harris


Embracing challenges as an opportunity for transformation and progress is the norm of life and is purpose-driven. Resisting challenges is a sure sign of living in suffering and pain.

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Additional  Resources

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#Gratitude  #Grateful #Spiritual #Thepowerofgratitude   For more information, visit our resources sign up for our free masterclass . CLICK HERE  

Author: Sara Ahavah