Spirituality for Beginners -How to make good choices in relationships

Spirituality for Beginners -How to make good choices in relationships

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Spirituality for Beginners -How to make good choices in relationships

Our relationships reflect our consciousness. We cannot make good choices unless we know what good looks like. The trouble is, many of us have no concept of good. Hence, we want something we are not aware of. When we fail in our relationships, it is a signal that we must not ignore; otherwise, we do so at our peril.


Although we may think that bad relationships are due to bad luck, the reality is, we can all hold good relationships with an improved consciousness. Our society does not teach us the ingredients of good relationships. Hence, many of us are clueless on the subject.

Bad relationships  are signals for an inner healing towards higher consciousness

Bad relationship experiences are signals that something must change in our life. The starting point is to look inside. The inner consciousness projects the outer experiences. It is so that we can recognise what needs to be fixed for success and happiness to prevail. Blaming others for our bad choices is the beginning of our long spiritual journey, which will keep us in the classroom of ignorance through repeated failure until we learn and take responsibility for our destiny.

It is a fact that children who are brought up in broken relationships are more likely to vibrate relationships of lower quality. It is natural, as the inner consciousness takes the form of their childhood experiences. One cannot escape their internal environment of broken, chaotic relationships immediately. After all, we are what we eat, see, feel and hear persistently- this too is the law of Nature. However, there comes a time when choices must be made in anyone’s life. We grow up, break free from our parents and can determine where we hang out and what we want for our life.

After repeated failure, one must pray for God’s guidance. At that point of seeking higher help, we can be rescued and sign-posted to the truth of our predicament. We must be careful not to fall into the trap of false teachings or beliefs which will keep us in the darkness of ignorance. While blaming others is our ego state’s natural mindset, it takes us nowhere other than burying us deeper into the problem.

Tip number one-  Do not blame others or feel anxious

Therefore the first piece of advice is to stop the blaming. Your parents or guardian could only offer what they have. If they fail in their relationships, that is all they can provide you with. Nature has predestined you to start from their failure. However, Nature has not destined you to end where you started. My dad’s experience brought this home to my consciousness. His parent’s marriage was not a success. His first marriage failed naturally; however, his second marriage succeeded.

I recall studying the lives of many who started on the wrong track but eventually settled in a good relationship- Nelson Mandela and Wayne Dyer are a few reference points.

God’s plan is for us to be perfect, whole and complete. This is the purpose of our life here on earth. Having good relationships with others and through them with God is the purpose of life. Even if parents failed us, there are spiritual guides around us in sacred texts, teachers and friends whose goal is to help us out. Very often, we ignore their advice at our peril. However, they will always be there to pick us up at some point when we seek help.

After ending the habit of blaming others, the next action plan is to seek spiritual healing. Breaking the repeated cycle of bad relationships requires investment in mastering unconditional love. Broken relationships are indicators of the absence of unconditional love. Where true love exists, there will be no fractured relationships. Therefore, the healing required is to learn how to love others as God loves us.

How to make good choices in relationships

1) Begin by taking responsibility to love others and value the importance of love in relationships. When we abuse others’ right to be treated with dignity, care and kindness, we create karma that we must pay for down the line.

2) Avoid creating negative generational karmas that cause us to start from the wrong side of life. I remembered going back to my dad asking questions about his grandparents. To my surprise, I learnt there had been a cycle of relationship problems spanning many ancestral generations before me. Do your research, and you will find patterns. Nothing happens by accident.

3) Embrace the spiritual purpose for which you are on this planet to unfold. No relationship will thrive without a healthy investment of love. When we love others, we take the mantle of our spiritual DNA and put God first in our lives. When we do so, we raise our consciousness and attract similar people who are more evolved in consciousness. We can make better choices because we know the difference between good and evil and navigate towards good. Ignorance ends with a higher consciousness.

Want to know more about spiritual healing? Get a copy of my recent book – A Conversation With The Sages – Spiritual Healing For Women.


The inner qualities of our beliefs drive our desires, actions and feelings. It drives the experiences we go through. When we heal defective thinking and beliefs, we heal our world experiences.

CLICK HERE  to read the ‘Introduction Chapter’ of my book – A Conversation With The Sages

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Author: Sara Ahavah